biancasimone.com

My brain is in the balance. My LIFE is in the balance. Everything needs to be in balance. I feel like I'm out of whack. I don't sleep properly. I don't eat regularly. I should be out doing something (like trying to find ways to get my car fixed). I want to go back to Mt. Sterling, but if one more person from whirlin' sterlin' asks me when I'm coming home I swear I'll scream and not come back until the 4th of July.

I'm just cross because I want my car fixed. It feels like having a newborn, then having to cart it off to intensive care barely after it has learned to roll over by itself. And having to pick out the best hospital while its delicate life hangs in the balance every second you can't make a deciscive decision. Or maybe more accurately, having a newly adopted preteen spasming off into psychobabble oblivion and praying you can get your new child the help she needs before collapsing into an unsalvagable puddle of despair and bad memories.

I feel depressed. Braindead. Unhelpful. Uncaring. Desperate. Clingy. *sigh* I just want to sleep all day, but I know I have to call the hospitals as early as possible in the morning to find out who can fix my baby ASAP.

On the bright side (because there's always a bright side), I finally decided to take just ONE class over the summer... I'm taking Macroeconomics with Mike (and Bob). I'm sure Mike's rejoycing at the prospect of a friendly face with whom he can study... and Bob rejoycing at the fact that he can make fun of a stupid person in that class that he actually KNOWS. :) It will alleviate boredom, get some blood flowing to those now-dead brain cells, give me a good academic challenge (if I get an A I'll have a 3.010 cum. GPA; if I get an A- I'll have a 2.99 cum. GPA I just looked at my GPA, I forgot how to divide... the REAL challenge will be getting the A; people say this lady's evil. Mike and I have figured her to be another Maronesque teacher), and hopefully get me back into a regular schedule (with 2 jobs *knock on wood* also helping with that one).

I need a job besides REACH to sustain me through the fall... But I can't job search effectively with a car which can't go farther than 5 miles without dying. So, STOP FUCKING ASKING IF I'M LOOKING! You know I'm looking, moron. I don't want to bike out to Bardstown!!! I'm such a slow biker... plus the cars are just hawking for something other than neighboring cars to hit. And Shelbyville Road? Pffft. Just dig a hole and throw me in it. There is no way I'm taking anything besides my car out there. End of story!

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 2:35 AM