biancasimone.com

so what if I don't like girls at all...
Or maybe I just don't like certain types of girls... or maybe I don't like certain things girls do.

*sigh* I hated today. I woke up with a cracked contact and so I went pirate all day (whenever I did something that required far vision, I closed my right eye since the left one had the contact in, and vice versa). I could have survived if the LEFT contact would have cracked but NOOOO. So, fine, I go pirate all day. In my stupidity, I leave both my old perscription of contacts and my glasses back at the dorm. Thinking my mom had picked up my new perscription, I didn't worry about it. Then she tells me that she didn't pick it up at ALL last week; she tried going in today but the office was closed at 11AM... she tried calling the optometrist at his house (his parents are our neighbors across the street--he just moved from their house a while ago) but she didn't get any answer at his house. So, now I have to go around with limited vision until I get back Monday.

Then there's the deal with Bridget. *sigh* I hated leaving her at Transy because they are so totally GHETTO over there. I'm sorry, but if I'm paying $30,000 a year I am NOT going to live in a dorm as crappy as that one. I think I twisted my knee while I was over there... if I sit cross-legged for too long my kneecap does funny things and it felt really bad today. My knee has been hurting ever since. I think that room hates me. I take that back, I think that entire DORM just hates PEOPLE. Maybe it's just freshman housing, but her dorm sucks so bad. They don't even have freaking call waiting over there! I've been trying to call her but my cell phone went out so I tried calling her back from the house but either she tried calling me simultaneously or Cari (her roommate) is on the phone.

I need a new cell phone! I know what phone I want, what plan I want, what options I want, what accessories I want, I even know what phone my mom should get. I hope we're getting new phones and a new plan tomorrow. If not, I will probably have a heart attack and die.

And then there's boys! I don't hate them, they just drive me up the wall. You know, everyone has their image of the person that is the one for them. Every time I come home, I realize that finding that person for me will be next to impossible. That's just how it is. I don't mean to sound cryptic or anything, but I'm not going to be around long enough to get married. I just have this feeling that the end of the world and the end of my life will coincide. I dunno, it just seems like every stride I make or try to make doesn't go my way. Every boy that I like is afraid to take chances or afraid to trust or afraid to let go or just not ready to open up.

I think I just need a good, unexpected hug from someone ...

Maybe I just want too much out of life. Maybe that's why I'm haunted by my dreams... the difference between what makes me feel good and what really goes on just drives me insane.

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 11:32 PM